A journey from Pain to Purpose

Like many women, I wear a lot of hats—wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and aunt. In addition to these, I co-founded a Bollywood music radio station; host a health and lifestyle radio show and am passionate about craftivism. Nine years ago, I founded “Knit Your Socks Off” which is a group where we knit and crochet items for charity. But in March 2022, my world was turned upside down when I was diagnosed with Stage 3c ovarian cancer after months of being dismissed by doctors.

As a woman over 50, I was often told my symptoms were “just menopausal” and I had never even heard of ovarian cancer before. As a South Asian woman, discussing gynaecological health was considered taboo and I felt isolated, not knowing how to advocate for myself. After multiple misdiagnoses, I finally received the devastating news that I had cancer, despite no family history of the disease.

My treatment journey was a rollercoaster. I underwent two surgeries; had a course of IV chemotherapy; immunotherapy and finally, oral chemotherapy. The first surgery was unsuccessful, leaving me emotionally and physically scarred. Chemotherapy side effects were debilitating—and I also developed a permanent disability from the treatment. I reached a point where I wanted to give up feeling physically and emotionally broken.

Yet, after enduring seven weeks of oral chemotherapy, my tumours shrank enough to allow a second surgery in February 2023, which Alhamdulillah, was successful. I was officially declared cancer-free and have now been in remission for over two years.

However, cancer’s impact doesn’t disappear with remission. Although my diagnosis has been life changing it has also been life affirming!  People who haven’t seen me for a while look at me now and say, “Wow – you look great, hair’s come back, skin’s cleared up…. you can put it all behind you…” You can’t!  The physical, mental, and emotional toll remains, and though I’m healthier now, I continue to navigate the mental health challenges that arose during my treatment. Many people tell me I look great, but what they don’t see is the internal struggle that continues. Cancer doesn’t just go away when treatment ends—it leaves an indelible mark.

As women, we’re often taught to put others first, but I’ve learned that self-care and education are critical. If I could go back, I would tell myself to take the time for self-care—exercise, eating healthier and learning about my health. Knowledge is power. Educating yourself about your body and women’s health is essential to advocating for yourself. Early detection leads to less invasive treatments and better outcomes.

As someone who has navigated such a tough journey the biggest lessons, I have come away with are these:

1. Nobody knows your body better than you. If you feel something isn’t right, trust your gut instinct and get it checked out. If like me you feel you are not being heard, or feel your symptoms have been dismissed, ask for a second opinion – it’s your right.

2. Take up those offers of tests and screenings – when the letter for a smear or mammogram comes, don’t just ignore it.

3. Normalise these conversations so that we do not feel shame or embarrassment when talking about women’s health – talk to your daughters, sisters, mothers, aunties, friends – have open and frank conversations with all the women in your life as it may save their life in the future.

As a practising Muslim, my faith and the love that surrounded me from family played a huge role in my journey and recovery. It held me together when I was falling apart. It gave me strength when I was broken. It showed me light when I felt like I was drowning in darkness. It gave me a beautiful deeper connection with Allah SWT unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I clung onto the rope of Allah SWT and His mercy and words:  

Inna ma’al ‘usri yusra – “Verily with every hardship comes ease”.

Most importantly my faith grounded me and it gave me the ability to turn my pain into purpose. My mission now is to raise awareness, campaign for better women’s health, and normalise conversations about gynaecological issues so that others don’t have to suffer in silence.

If I could share advice with anyone who is going through something similar, I would tell them to be kind to yourself. Take it a day at a time, an hour at a time or even a minute at a time if that is how you are able to cope. Educate yourself on your condition and the medications and their side effects so you can effectively advocate for yourself. No question is a silly question – ask them, ask as many as you need and do not be shy or feel silly. Do whatever you need to do to be fully informed about your journey. Keep loved ones involved in your treatment journey and your wishes because if things get tough (and they can get very tough), they will become your biggest advocates but also your biggest cheerleaders – mine certainly were. Do the things that bring you joy and surround yourself with love and the right people that support and uplift you and leave the rest to Allah SWT.