Cancer is only going to be a chapter in your life – not the whole story

Suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia and having a family history of heart disease inevitably means trips back and forth to the doctors for reviews, medication changes and new symptoms to discuss. One day, in Ramadan 2024, I started developing some intense chest pains, which were worsening day by day. When I pressed on the area (hoping it would help, a bit like a massage), I felt a small but slightly raised lump in my right breast. This triggered me to check if it was the same on the left side too – it wasn’t!

As you do, I ignored it at first. But I guess once you’ve felt a lump, you keep going back to check if it’s still there. Eventually, I got it checked and the doctor confirmed she could feel a lump and sent me for further tests. It was at this point that I started to consider that this could be more serious than I initially thought. Within 2 days, I was seen at my local hospital for a mammogram and biopsy. I went home after the biopsies and tried to divert my mind, but I guess you kind of have an inkling in your heart with these things. It wouldn’t go from my mind and I was definitely thinking of the worst – my anxiety was at a peak.

It felt like the longest wait ever, but on a cold Monday morning I got the dreaded phone call. “Please can you come to the hospital ASAP to discuss your results?”

I went to the appointment alone – the only slot they had was the only morning my husband was away for work. I had waited so long, I couldn’t bear waiting any longer – and to be honest, I’d convinced myself it was a fatty lump. When I got there my world fell apart. I was not expecting to hear I had cancer! All I could think was, “What do I do with this information? How do I process it?”.

They confirmed I had stage 2 breast cancer – up until that point, I didn’t even know anyone who had cancer, let alone know anything about it.

I was there for 2 hours, listening but not quite sure how much I took in and I eventually broke down into tears. Even then, it still hadn’t fully sunk in and I almost felt like I was forcing myself to cry.

Over the coming weeks Eid came and went; I had further tests then was given a plan – surgery first, then chemotherapy as a preventative measure. I was booked in for surgery within weeks, everything was happening so fast that it didn’t give me much time to think about it. I spent my weeks before the surgery living life to the full. My husband took me out, we spent quality time together, my friends and family took me out and we made beautiful memories that I still reminisce about fondly to this day.

Then it came: the day of the surgery. I actually felt ok. I think being in the unknown was better. I didn’t really know what to expect and what I would feel. It was over so fast. Next thing I knew, I was out the other end. Recovery was going well and everyone rallied around. Family looked after me. I think it was nice just to get a rest and put your feet up.

It was an excuse to do nothing! But then came the news – unfortunately the cancer wasn’t fully removed and I’d need further surgery.

So again, I mentally prepared myself. Honestly, it was scarier going in the second time around. This time I knew what was coming. I knew the procedure and I knew what to expect. Sometimes that’s the scary part. But again, I came out the other end and started the process of recovery.

I would spend my alone time listening to Surahs on my phone. It gave me a sense of peace. I wanted to just close my eyes and be in the moment.

I was doing really well and could finally move my arms to an extent when the hospital told me I’d be having chemo. It felt like a new obstacle, although naively I felt like I’d been through the worst bit, so how hard could it be?

I’m a 1-year cancer survivor now. My advice to anyone going through a cancer diagnosis or treatment is that we are made strong and resilient. The lesson given to us by Allah in the Quran always comes to the forefront of my mind:

“Allah does not burden any soul with more than it can bear.” Surah Al-Baqarah (2:286)

Sometimes, we don’t have faith in our own strength and Allah makes us realise how strong we actually are. If anything, that faith in Allah has strengthened for me. In hindsight, I could easily have ignored the lump, or not even found it in time; I’m a survivor because Allah planned this for me all along. And I’m so grateful for the life I’ve been given.

It’s not an easy journey but it’s not an impossible one either. With my husband and kids standing by me like a rock, they made the journey more bearable – if nothing else, they definitely knew how to keep it light hearted!

My huge family, Alhamdulillah, they were troopers. My friends who all came to visit me, I can’t thank them all enough!

I can’t be more grateful that I was blessed with all this support but I know everyone doesn’t have the same. But the one thing we all do have, is faith.

Allah finds a way. You just have to believe.