Cancer Thriver

I was 17 when I found a painless lump on my neck. I went to see the GP and was then seen at the hospital. It took them 6 months to diagnose me with thyroid cancer. I was 18 by then. I still remember the day when they gave me my diagnosis. I felt like I had been given a death sentence. I saw my mum break down and cry and I was the one comforting her. The fear consumed me. I had always associated cancer with death. My family found out, but it was very hush hush. No one was allowed to mention the C word. I was one of 5 siblings, but I felt very alone.  I eventually started to shut down and felt very uneasy and scared to speak about cancer.

The months that followed were a series of operations and radioiodine treatment. During the whole process, I didn’t tell any of my friends what I was going through. It was just my immediate family who knew. Months grew into years, and I am now 38. It’s been a very soul wrenching journey, with many ups and downs.

I now consider myself to be a cancer thriver! That’s what I call myself. I still have cancer in my neck which has metastasized to my lungs, but I fully acknowledge that this is a part of my journey in this world and have decided to live with it and thrive with it. I try to live a more holistic lifestyle, taking care of my physical, mental, spiritual and emotional wellbeing.

Cancer has forced me to remove the lens that I would once see the world through. I now look at the world through a lens of contentment, acceptance and reliance on Allah. I try to take risks and embrace challenges, because after living with cancer, I feel I’ve had to live life with an uncertainty. I try to never waste any opportunity to live life. I live and savour every moment, every sunrise and sunset, and my loved ones.

If there was anything I would tell myself back then, it would be to let go of all my fears and trust Him completely. I tell myself that it will be ok, remembering that at the end of every dark tunnel there is light, and Allah’s promise is true. He will never let us down.

I realised very quickly that I can’t control my fate, no matter what I do, it is Allah who oversees our affairs. I decided to just let go and accept my fate, and ultimately whatever Allah has decreed for us is from His immense love. Knowing this has made me feel content and accepting of whatever comes my way.

For anyone who has been diagnosed with cancer or living with cancer, I would advise them to firstly establish a deep connection with Allah. I found that the best time for this would be the time before Fajr. I have found it to be by far the best therapy, to have a one-on-one session with your most Beloved, talk to Him, open up to Him, tell Him your deepest fears. Without doubt you will develop this strength, contentment and motivation to fight this disease, but also at the same time find the sweetness of contentment and acceptance. Another learning I would share, would be to find others on the same journey as you, connect, seek advice and learn. Take every means possible to seek a cure, and then trust Allah to do the rest.