My Breast Cancer Story

My Breast cancer diagnosis came at an already tough time in my life, because my mother was already battling cancer. I was 29 at the time. I was also looking after my mum as well so as you can imagine, life was not a barrel of laughs.

I had a full house of treatment – chemo, surgery and then radiotherapy. During my treatment I found out I carried the BRCA1 mutation, which meant my risk of developing the cancer was significantly higher compared to the average population. I really resonate with Zahida’s story – there is a big taboo around talking about cancer in the South Asian community. I was told not to tell anyone. To this day, a lot of my extended relatives do not know I had cancer!

I had a lot of issues to deal with (I am sure most of us do!) – attitudes of extended family towards my cancer, relationships and friendships being negatively affected, and my own feelings towards my illness. I remember at the time, crying to my consultant and my favourite chemo nurse every week about what a shambles my life was. Now, however, that I am a few years down the line I can look back at that time and realise the strength I was given by Allah to get through everything and come out at the other end with a smile on my face (as well as a fresh new head of hair!).

If there is one thing, I could say it would be to never give up hope. I know it is hard. It is extremely hard, but you must keep hoping that things will get better. The positivity is so important. When I was in the middle of treatment, everything felt hopeless – I kept thinking about the all the things that could possibly go wrong in the future. I was worried about my fertility, recurrence of the cancer and the impact of the treatment on my body. Now a few years down the line, these thoughts are not at the forefront of my mind.

Cancer has a really huge impact on your mind, body and even your friendships – be prepared for everything you ever knew to change!

I am a completely different person compared to how I was before cancer, in a good way though.

The biggest lesson I have come away with is that we can only rely on Allah. Most people who have gone through cancer treatment tend to become closer to their religion. At the time I was worried that the cancer was a punishment from Allah but on reflection I realised this was in fact a blessing in disguise that allowed me to get closer to Allah.

Throughout this journey, my family and friends were the only thing that kept me going – it was hard watching my mum struggle with her cancer but watching her struggle with the guilt of passing her genetic mutation on to me was very distressing, and knowing what I was experiencing as she was going through the same. Alhamdulillah, both of our tough times have passed and now we are moving onwards and upwards in our lives!

The biggest advice I would give to anyone going through something similar is that you cannot change people. You can never change someone’s attitude towards you, and you   cannot change the situation you are in – it is like wishing it would snow in the middle of summer! Instead, you only have control over yourself – your emotions, your actions, your reactions to a situation. You can wish you never had the cancer but there is no way of changing that reality. The only thing you can change is your own attitude and your perception of everything that is happening in your life.

A similar thing applies to other people and their attitudes – it is likely you will face negative comments from others. No matter what you say to them, they will not change their opinion unless they choose to, but you have control over your own actions and can choose to behave with dignity and respect despite how others may behave with you.