The transition from Doctor to Patient

Blog by Dr Hajra written by Taiba from Safeena Muslim Cancer Support Network

Experiencing cancer as a doctor has been a really unusual situation for me – I remember when I was diagnosed, I thought…but this is my job!

There’s a big transition from being a doctor to becoming a patient – it’s not something that was taught to us at university but it is crucially important to bear in mind the emotional load that doctors often carry, given their experiences of so many aspects of medicine and healthcare both during training and after qualification. 

There’s been a big emotional aspect to my entire cancer journey – although every single staff member I met throughout my journey has been empathetic, I found it difficult to see my colleagues visibly upset when they were having to break the difficult news to me that I had cancer. 

It made me worry that I was seriously ill – given my past experience working as a palliative care doctor and on the oncology ward. I was worried that I didn’t have much time left on this earth.

It took some time for the remainder of my investigations to be completed and for my worst fear to be allayed: the cancer hadn’t spread beyond the lymph nodes near my breast. During those weeks, I reflected on other patients I had seen – during their good days and their not-so-good moments and the things I’d said (or had left unsaid). I remember those I had cared for when I was working with refugees abroad and felt grateful for the excellent NHS care we have available – some people just couldn’t access cancer treatment at all due to their finances, immigration status or severity of illness. 

I’m currently having chemotherapy. Every day, I’m grateful for the good moments and I try to keep myself occupied as it’s easy for negative thoughts to creep in but I’m trying my best to have a positive outlook. 

My advice to others who might be in my position is to self-examine – I used to tell patients about it but would often forget myself! 

If there is a family history of cancer, especially breast or ovarian cancer, do speak to your GP about getting a referral. I always assumed it couldn’t happen to me because of my ethnicity not being one of the “usual” ones that were affected by the BRCA mutations but now I realise it can happen to anyone. 

It’s important to live a healthy lifestyle but try not to live in fear – there’s only so much we can do to prevent illness. Sometimes things are written for us in our destiny – this is out of our hands. 

Remember – young people can get cancer too. It’s always important to be cautious and seek advice on symptoms that are persisting. Arm yourself with knowledge and this can help you feel empowered to get answers.